10 Ways to Proactively Plan for Your Death and Legacy
CW: This piece discusses death, dying, grief, and loss.
Earlier this month, I wrote about the ways that birth work and death work are not only related but are intertwined with one another. Because the dominant culture seems to steer clear of conversations related to loss and death, I am committed to contributing to shift and change.
I care about making space for grief; I care about honoring all transitions; I care about my legacy and your legacy and the idea that we all have a legacy to build in this lifetime. To me, this means acknowledging that death is a part of life and normalizing rituals and practices that support both the living and the dying through this transition.
I decided to get certified as a Death Doula through Going with Grace, and a member of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) to dig deeper into that side of transition. Along this journey, I have learned a lot of new skills that are a great complement to my birth work-focused skills. I’m going to share some of these ideas because I believe that everyone can (and should) begin preparing for loss and death today.
Fellow birth workers, you may be called to integrate death work principles into your current offerings - and while you may only help clients initiate the process, you are opening the door for important conversations and practices. You are already doing the big and important work of helping clients prepare for transitions– birth, postpartum, abortion, adoption, and so on–and legacy and estate planning can be seen as natural and important next steps. I am excited for you to know about Legado and its estate planning resources– keep reading for more about them!
Note: For many of us, the words “estate planning” may feel out of reach or not applicable. Notice what you may have a vision of with the word estate, and then read on to learn more about what the “estate planning” process actually looks like and how it might be an interesting thing to add to your own list of services or resources.
Ways to Proactively Plan for Death
The ideas shared are ones that you may utilize yourself, as you prepare for your own death, as well as ideas you share with loved ones. It can be helpful to explore these ideas and take action with a friend or family member.
Think about how you’d like to be remembered and celebrated. Are there foods you want to be served? Music you want to be played? Communicate your needs/wishes/preferences with your loved ones. Eventually, you’ll want to turn this into a plan that communicates your wishes for your funeral/end-of-life celebration and share it with your loved ones who may be involved in this process.
Talk about death and explore your thoughts and feelings about it. Conversations with friends, colleagues, therapists, support groups, and so on can all be helpful in exploring your beliefs about death– your own and others. Pause to check in about your feelings and stay curious about what comes up.
Create a bucket list if it feels fun! If the idea of a “bucket list” brings you joy, do it! Name the things you’d like to do in this lifetime and work towards checking them off.
Create a will. A will is part of estate planning, see Legado’s details below! Additionally, you may like to check out self-guided, online resources like Cake.
Consider medical directives and healthcare proxy. It can be helpful to name your preferences for end-of-life medical care. In the case that you are unable to make decisions for your own care, you can name the person that you’d like to speak to and act on your behalf. (Be sure you and this person have talked about this role!)
Organize your finances. Keeping your finances organized and having a quick list of accounts can be helpful. You may also like to specify a financial power of attorney or a person who will handle your legal and financial affairs if you are unable to. Another piece to consider here is your life insurance plan. Check out Fully Funded for guidance on life insurance, investments, and retirement plans.
Ensure all accounts/benefits have your correct beneficiary listed. If you have any life insurance policies or other accounts that list beneficiaries, ensure that you have the correct person listed. Your beneficiary should be aware that they’re in this role. A NokBox, or Next-of-Kin Box, is a great way to keep all of your papers in order.
Stay curious about your emotional legacy. Beyond the logistics, you are building an emotional legacy. This includes your memories, relationships, values, and so on. How you show up every day is contributing to your legacy!
Make an annual date to review and refresh your plans. Once you have your plans in place, it’s important that you review and refresh them regularly; I suggest annually.
Communicate your plans to your closest loved ones. As you get your plans and documents in order, communicate your plans to your partners, children, parents, and best friends as relevant. If there are any big changes at your annual review, communicate those to the folks who need to know.
Get Started with Legado - a brief rundown of services from our friends at Legado!
About
Legado stands at the intersection of traditional legal expertise and modern online accessibility. By providing education and easy access to comprehensive estate planning, Legado ensures that families of all shapes and sizes can efficiently safeguard their legacies, saving time, money, and resources. Legado challenges the notion that estate plans are reserved for the ultra-wealthy, emphasizing that most people benefit from one. They approach estate planning with a positive lens, shifting away from the typical doom and gloom and celebrating it as a testament to one's achievements.
Fact or Cap (fiction)?
A will is all you need in your estate plan. - CAP
A will doesn’t keep you out of probate, which can take months, if not years, to go through and cost time, money, and stress.
A trust replaces a will - CAP
A trust is the bulk of your estate plan, but a pour-over will is a safety net. In essence, it’s best to have both.
Only uber wealthy people need an Estate Plan - CAP
Everyone needs some sort of estate plan, but anyone with young children, home owners, business owners, or other large assets definitely need a trust-based estate plan.
Trusts are more expensive than wills so it’s cheaper to just have a will - CAP
Only having a will can cost your family up to 10% of your total estate because of probate. If your estate is worth $1M, your loved ones could lose out on $100k by going through probate.
How it Works
Educate - Legado offers plenty of content and tools to educate yourself on the importance of a trust-based estate plan. From their Savings Calculator, to their Estate Planning Quiz, and their Instagram, there are several ways to better educate yourself on estate planning overall. Legado also offers pre-planning calls as well.
Information - Once you’re ready to move forward with creating your trust-based estate plan, you should complete our Legacy Planner (use code SABIA50 for $50 off). It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes and you won’t need specific bank details or your social security number. Once the form is submitted and payment is received the attorney will start drafting your estate plan.
Meeting - You will then have an hour call with an estate planning attorney to go through all your documents and ask any questions you have. Once the plan is to your liking, the attorney will share it with you via Dropbox.
Put it to work - With your estate planning documents in hand, you will now need to implement the trust. Legado will provide you with a custom funding guide and answer any questions you may have.
Let’s Do This Work Together
The Birth Neoterist is a space for talking about justice, healing, and liberation, and this includes loss, death, and dying. I would love to hear your thoughts about preparing your legacy, and if you have any related resources you’d like to share with the community, please link them below.
Additionally, use discount code SABIA50 at Legado to get $50 for their services. I am really excited about the ways birth workers can support folks in preparing their legacies, and I hope this resource can be a powerful tool for you and the families you support.
This is such a crucial topic - our systemic fear of death holds back so many from making the transition process less traumatic and easier. I am in the process of going through all of our family paperwork (not the most fun process) to ensure loose ends are tied up and things are organized and easy to find. The process of giving birth also inherently one that invites us to think about preparing for the next generation. Thank you Sabia for this wonderful resource.