Being Black & Smiling For Safety...
Spirituality, White Immobilization & A Shoutout To Black Women
On the 16th day of Black History Month, I want to bring the timely words of Cole Arthur Riley after some thoughts first. Cole Arthur Riley is a writer and poet. She is the NYT bestselling author of This Here Flesh and Black Liturgies. Cole is also the creator of Black Liturgies, a space that integrates spiritual practice with Black emotion, Black literature, and the Black body.
I am a spiritual person and in fact, I am a spiritual director. Spiritual direction is the practice of being with people as they attempt to deepen their relationship with the divine, or to learn and grow in their personal spirituality.
Spirituality is a part of my liberation practice and a part of myself I aim to share in community with an openness to what others may practice, if spirituality is a practice of the theirs (or not - it’s not mandatory in my understanding of liberation for myself and others).
This particular prayer has been on my mind as I’ve personally been navigating conversation with non-BIPOC (aka white) folks about the current world, receiving praise for being so strong but also wondering if my existence as a Black woman full of strength, resilience and community… Why are they accepting and sometimes opting into easier routes of freeze, disconnection and individualism?
…If my path as a Black woman is so admirable then why choose to opt out? Perhaps this is the crux we always come to as a community. Non-BIPOC folks asking how can they show up, Black women writing the manuals and giving the live instructions and only so many choosing to opt-in and others proclaiming it’s too difficult, too uncomfortable and holding too much shame to move forward in the active path of liberation… Although we know liberation will required ALL of us to be in the movement together.
Then I question…
Do Black women make it look too easy? Because it’s not.
Do we cover our stress and rage with too many smiles? We can’t be too “scary”.
Are non-BIPOC people only okay when standing behind us? Waiting to see what the consequences are before experiencing it for themselves.
Or is white patriarchal society easier to settle in? Liberation is ongoing, consistent, intentional and oftentimes, hard work in current climate.
I don’t have the answers but I do have thoughts and I’m open to all of your thoughts as well.
What I do have though for today is a shoutout to Black women.. The moms, grandmothers, aunties, daughters, cousins and more that have held each other and the rest of humanity down throughout history. Sometimes that looked like making sure everyone’s kids had a meal before bed and it looked like being the community midwife continuously bringing life into this world where we weren’t wanted. Many times, it looked like being the lead role and the backbone of revolutions for the liberation of all people with and without proper recognition. To the many Black woman, who have wrote and/or spoken manuals of liberation - what to do and how to do it - manuals more people need to take heed of. I see you and I am you.
So from Coley Arthur Riley…
“FOR BLACK PEOPLE WHO HAD TO SMILE THROUGH IT
God who knows the cost,
These grins are heavy. But there are times when we cannot afford to shed them safely. Time and time again we have had to temper our anger, cool down, step away, or smile as injustice unfolds. Redeem these moments of restraint in the face of indignity. Heal the emotional wounds from the accusation and restriction whiteness has placed over our feelings, as it is unable to reckon with its own deformed emotional life. Undo the epigenetic consequences of emotional constriction. Release us from feeling shame toward the grins that have kept us alive, and remind us that the moral liability for our oppression is on whiteness. As we continue on the path of liberation, let us scream. Let smile become scowl. Let our rage boil enough to melt chains themselves, in holy remembrance of the masks our ancestors were forced to wear. Give us our faces back. Ase.”
Stay Free,
Sabia